


I Know You Have a Lot of Strength Left

by unbrokengibberish



Series: Gallavich Week 2014 [4]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder Mentioned, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 04:49:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1805899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbrokengibberish/pseuds/unbrokengibberish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two times Mickey and Ian hurt each other and two times they are there to comfort each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know You Have a Lot of Strength Left

**Author's Note:**

> Gallavich Week --- Day Four: Hurt/Comfort

_Hurt._

_I._

_“Would you at least look at me?”_ Ian yells as he starts to feel his resolve crumble. He came here to check on Mickey, not that he was expecting to find him skipping through a field of daisies, but he needed to see him.

 

But Mickey apparently didn’t feel the same way. He hadn’t even glanced at Ian since he’d found him in the abandoned building and Ian wants to throw up. He wants to spew out the memories of that day, the bruises on Mickey’s face, and the way Mickey was ignoring him like nothing had ever happened.

 

 _You going to go get yourself thrown in Juvie again_ is what he wants to say, but instead he just says, “Fine.” And with that he walks away from the brunette boy who grips the gun like it’s the only thing anchoring him to this world, to the ground.

 

Ian keeps walking. He doesn’t know where he’s going, but he doesn’t really give a shit. He can’t go home. He can’t face Fiona’s questioning looks or Lip’s knowing glances. Fuck him, he doesn’t know anything.

 

His heart is constricting. He can feel it in his chest like if he makes one wrong move it will explode or implode or just die. Just stop beating, stop working, stop doing anything that is keeping him alive. He doesn’t want to be anymore. Terry wants to kill him. Mickey hates him. No one knows anything about what happened and he doesn’t know if he can keep it in anymore, but who is he gonna tell.

 

Ian just keeps walking with no where to go, no destination, just trying to escape from the weight that had started crushing him the minute the Milkovich’s front door open and his world turned into a black abyss with him just waiting for more consequences like being in love was something to be punished.

 

_II._

 

_“Don’t what?”_

  
He can’t get the words out. _Don’t walk away. Don’t leave. Don’t leave me._ But he can’t. The words won’t come out. He exhales on the word just and he doesn’t even know if Ian heard him, but how could he over the drumming of his heart. Thing’s like a freaking bass drum or some shit and he can’t think over the sound.

 

He barely registers Ian’s slight eye roll as he turns around and walks away. Walks away from him. Leaves him. He always thought it would be him leaving first and maybe he did, but Ian is physically walking away from his bedroom door and he wants to scream. _Come back._ _I’m sorry. I love you._ He can feel the words on the tip of his tongue, but he knows none will come out.

 

He collapses onto his bed. He feels like the ground has fallen away has left him He couldn’t stand if he wanted to. Couldn’t run away. Couldn’t run after him. Ian. The name already sounds foreign in his mind. He presses the balls of his hands against his eyes trying to destroy the image that will forever be burned into his retinas. If he just presses a little harder, maybe the tears won’t fall. Only pussies cry.

 

Mandy echoes his thoughts moments later and he barely even has time to register that _she knows,_ before he mentally agrees with her. He is a pussy. He could’ve stopped him. He could’ve at least tried. Fucking pussy.

 

His ring catches his eye. He glares down at the offending article. The small piece of metal that has managed to mangle his heart and spit it all over the ground. He takes it off, stares at it for a moment, and then flings it across the room. He feels his heart shatter as the thing bounces off the wall and crashes to the floor.

 

_Comfort_

_I._

Ian kisses the top of his head and Mickey feels his heart break in an entirely different way; he wouldn’t mind the shattering pain of love every once in a while.

 

He doesn’t even really remember what happened one moment Ian was walking out of his life and the next moment he was coming out to a bar full of his family, his dad.

 

He could tell by the look on Ian’s face that he hadn’t expected that. Hell, Mickey hadn’t expected it either, but he couldn’t lose Ian, not again, not after everything they’d been through to get where they were.

 

When Ian came barreling toward him, shouting about how he’d always wanted to do this, Mickey knew he’d made the right decision. He would take the pain as long as the heartache of true love came with it.

 

As they’re lying in Lip’s bed that night (asshole decided to be nice and give them his room), Ian’s arms unconsciously tighten around him in his sleep and he cuddles up closer to this strong boy who has taught him that human contact isn’t always something to fear. Somehow with Ian around, he always feels safer and he knows that has nothing to do with the situation and everything to do with the gangly ginger he’d fallen for all those years ago.

 

_II._

He hears Mickey whisper close to his ear that everything is going to be all right. He tells him that he’s there for him, that he’s not going anywhere. But that’s what they all say isn’t it. Monica said it. Frank said it. Hell Ian said it himself at one point, but then he left. He left behind all these people that love him so much and that he loves so much and he knows he can never do that again. Doesn’t want to really. But it all just seems so damn pointless and he’s just causing everyone pain.

 

He feels Mickey’s arm tighten around his waist and the warmth radiating off of him pours into Ian’s ever cooling skin and it almost makes him smile, but he just can’t.

 

He wants to look at this man lying next to him and thank him for everything he’s done. For being there for him. For helping him through the last few months of ups and down. For tolerating his family and everything else. But he can’t. The words are perched on his tongue, but his tongue is lead and he couldn’t move it even if he had the energy to do so.

 

He just lies there, useless and sucking the happiness out of everyone’s lives. He wants to do something. Make everyone know that he is there. That he wants to get better. He just settles for moving more into Mickey’s embrace.

 

And when he hears Mickey whisper, “I love you, Ian” he musters up just enough energy to bury his head into Mickey’s neck and prays that that’s enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Tumblr at Shamelessbanshees


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